The Finance Bro, The Red Flags & The Yacht That Saved Me
They say love is a numbers game—swipe enough, date enough, and eventually, someone will stick. But as I sat across from Ali the Analyst at a candlelit restaurant in DIFC, I started to suspect I’d played the numbers game a little too well… and lost.
The Meet-Cute (Or So I Thought)
I met Ali at a Dubai speed dating event hosted by Luxcierge Group. He was tall, confident, and had that “I work in finance and think I own the world” energy. You know the type—tailored suit, designer watch, a LinkedIn bio that’s practically an MBA thesis.
"Investment banking," he’d said, flashing a smile that was definitely expensive. "Goldman."
I won’t lie. I leaned in. There’s something about a man who can talk about market trends with the same enthusiasm I reserve for a Balenciaga sample sale. He had the kind of presence that made you feel like you were sitting on an IPO rather than a high-top barstool.
So, when he asked me to dinner, I thought, Why not?
The Red Flags Start Waving
I should’ve known we were in trouble when he ordered a sparkling water… with a side of financial advice.
"Still renting in Dubai?" he asked, shaking his head like I’d admitted to keeping my savings in a shoebox. "You’re throwing money away. If you’re not leveraging debt, you’re losing."
Oh. So this wasn’t a date—it was a TED Talk on financial literacy.
I tried to steer the conversation back to something fun. Travel, movies, anything that didn’t involve portfolio diversification. But Ali had one true love—Ali’s career.
He talked about his 18-hour workdays like they were Olympic medals. He name-dropped CEOs like they were his weekend brunch squad. And when I jokingly asked if he had time for relationships, he smirked.
"I optimize my time. Efficiency is key."
Ah, yes. Nothing says romance like efficiency.
When a Girl Needs a Life Raft… She Gets a Yacht
By the time dessert arrived, I knew two things:
- Ali’s longest commitment was to his Bloomberg Terminal.
- I needed an exit strategy.
Which is why, the very next day, when my friend texted me "Cruise & Connect this Friday?", I didn’t hesitate. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned about dating in Dubai, it’s that you need options—preferably ones that come with a sea breeze and a strong cocktail.
At least at Luxcierge Group’s yacht events, I knew I’d meet Dubai professionals who actually wanted to connect, not just turn every conversation into a stock market forecast. No PowerPoint presentations, no unsolicited financial advice—just good conversation, stunning views, and the possibility of meeting someone who knew how to have fun.
So here’s to leaving red flags on shore and upgrading my dating strategy. Because if I’m going to be stuck on a sinking ship, at least let it be a luxury yacht with a five-star bartender.
Final Thought?
Ladies, don’t let your dating life become a bad financial investment. Diversify your options. Get on the yacht. 🚢✨
XOX
Sarah DxB
